


Strange Sort Of Wedding

by Qzeebrella



Category: Star Trek: Enterprise
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-03-13
Updated: 2006-03-13
Packaged: 2018-08-16 05:14:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 472
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8088664
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Qzeebrella/pseuds/Qzeebrella
Summary: Admiral Forrest asks Jon just why he and Malcolm had Phlox's bat perform their marriage. (01/15/2006)





	

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Kylie Lee, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [Warp 5 Complex](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Warp_5_Complex), the software of which ceased to be maintained and created a security hazard. To make future maintenance and archive growth easier, I began importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in August 2016. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but I may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Warp 5 Complex collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/Warp5Complex).

"So Jon, tell me again, why in the world you had a bat perform your wedding?" Admiral Forrest asked, rubbing his forehead with his hand and wondering if he'd ever get rid of the constant headache he had. The one that started the moment he put Jon in charge of the Enterprise.

"Well, Lieutenant Reed and I did ask Commander T'Pol to perform it, but it was THAT time of the decade and she refused to do it unless we both helped her satisfy her needs. And though Mal and I both like her, we don't like her THAT way."

"There are other people on the ship who could have done it Jonathan." Forrest pointed out as patiently as he could.

"I know, after turning down T'Pol's...um...proposition Mal and I went to Doctor Phlox and asked him to do it. And he said he would if we let him watch us 'copulate' just once on our honeymoon and share what he saw in a medical journal. I didn't particularly care for the idea and Malcolm outright refused to even consider it and so we decided to try someone else."

"We tried Commander Tucker first but he said, 'well normally I'd love to marry either you or Mal, but I just can't see myself being able to marry you to each other.' And he refused to clarify what he meant by that. I personally think he has a 'thing' for Malcolm and wish he could have married him instead."

"Then we tried Ensign Sato, but she was on strike for higher pay. Ensign Travis Mayweather had laryngitis and just wasn't able to talk. Then again, I think he must have laryngitis all the time since he has never talked a whole heck of a lot."

"Chef was too busy baking a wedding cake big enough for the whole crew to share. We tried asking Redshirt Number One and though he agreed to do it, he died just an hour later in a landing party, and so we then asked Redshirt Number Two and unfortunately she died in a strange incident involving a rusty spoon. So, we kept trying, but after Redshirt Number Five died we figured it would just be safer to ask Phlox's bat to marry us. So we did and the bat said she was glad to do so and she married us in sickbay right then and there."

"Okay, makes about as much sense of everything else you've done lately Jon. Congratulations to you and Lieutenant Reed, may you have many years of happiness."

"Thanks Admiral, Captain Archer out."

Just as soon as he was sure the channel was closed Admiral Forrest started whacking his head against his desk in some vague hope of earning a medical discharge and thus Jon and his crew becoming someone else's problem.


End file.
